i love it when i cook stuff for myself bc like i’ve just cooked pasta and yee bitch look at me providing for myself i could totally make it in this world it’s almost as if i have my life together
i take this back the pasta was shit i’m falling apart
do you ever get so obsessed with a game that you start playing it in your head before you sleep
So there’s a read aloud function on my Kindle, so I thought it would be funny to turn it on and hear this in its robotic voice.
I was wrong.
It wasn’t funny.
It was hilarious.
JUST CLICK PLAY OK.
And I hope my laughter isn’t too loud.
I don’t think I ever showed you guys this but we have a dog named Booker and this is his tag.
if i didnt have acne i would be one fearless bitch
Real life: most common eye color is brown
Literature: eye color is anything but brown
There are only two sides of myself: the dark one and the darker one
guys who rarely wear suits look at least 385% hotter when wearing a suit while guys who usually wear suits look 451% hotter when wearing casual clothes trust me this is science
This is the greatest knock knock joke in the history of all knock knocks jokes ever told, ever.
I think my favourite thing about this is the poor guy asking them not to do this again. how many times has this happened. he knew what was going to happen at the start. is this a regular occurrence
Harry Potter books covers from around the world.k
Bless whoever made this.
*Cries real tears*